Brazil: Just Say No?

Quoted from Brazilophile Noonz’s MySpace

If You Want to Travel, Read


Following up on my earlier discussion about travel (and my slight :-P obsession with Brasil), I wanted to write about the book Communicating with Brazilians: When Yes Means No by Tracy Novinger.

Do you love the culture of Brasil? The being-in-Rio-enjoying-Carnivale-and-doing-the-samba-all-night-to-bossa-nova-with-a-bronzed-lovely-(wo)man (enquanto na praia, sim)-Brasil? Yea, you especially need to read this book.

Beyond discussing the ways of verbal and non-verbal communication with Brazilians, Ms. Novinger deftly gives the reader an excellent and comprehensive primer on the political, cultural, and economic history of Brasil, Brasileiros (Paulistas, Cariocas, Nordestinos, etc), and why they communicate they way they do. This book is scholarly yet friendly, and a must read if you are planning to go to any region of Brasil; particularly the larger cities. From food to favelas, from sex to singing, reading Ms. Novinger's book gives you to the tools to take your hazy dreams of Brasil and reconcile them clearly to the reality of a country that is full of disparity, bureaucracy, contradiction; and a place where values of family, friendship, and festa (party) take on deep, intense, and lasting meanings.

The first step to successful travel is realizing that you will have to leave your hometown expectations behind, and you will have to change the method to your madness when you're in someone else's "house". Be Open, know your destination, and try to understand the "other side"...

Read up!

http://blogs.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.ListAll&friendId=159180776&page=1
March 23, 2007 - Friday

Você poderia dizer "não" (ou "é um segredo"): A sabedoria de Tracy Novinger
Translation: All you had to do was say "No" (or "It's a secret"): The wisdom of Tracy Novinger

Earlier this year I discussed the book Communicating with Brazilians: When Yes Means No by Tracy Novinger (see March 23, 2007). Whether you have a superficial interest in or a deep, long (albeit removed) relationship with Brazil or Brazilians, this text would be helpful to you.

I know it has been for me during the last few months. In the text, Ms. Novinger discusses that Brazilians hate to say no. Rarely will you hear anyone from the "Grand and Sweet" country willingly offer you anything in the realm of a negative response. Rather than give a "hard yes" or a "fast no" they will lend you a "barely there maybe"... and hope you figure it out. For North Americans who pride themselves on being direct and expecting a definitive outcome, communication with Brazilians can be difficult and lead to disappointment or frustration.

Reading text is one thing, but experiencing it first hand is another. Earlier this year at work, a young student from São Paulo came to ask a question, and we discussed her hometown and my desire to visit one day. We discussed music, etc. and at the end of our conversation she said: "When you are ready to visit SP, make sure you send me an email!" She smiled. I smiled. She left. That day I was glad I'd read Ms. Novinger's book. The young lady said "email" her...but she made no attempt to give me her email address (and her nonverbal cues said "don't ask me, either!" - or maybe she just had to get to class..who knows). Novinger had hit the proverbial nail.

Even so, today I am disappointed. Regardless of how much I read about other cultures, I find that I still expect a certain level of " direct American interaction" from my Brazilian buddies. Whether or not this is right is no doubt debateable; and I realize that even within my own culture, crystal clear communication is more often a miss than a hit...but come on...

I say "hi" you say "hey", I say "how you doing?" you say "I'm gonna call you, is that cool?" I say "sure, when, I want to make sure I get your call". Then I get silencio...

What's up with that? I mean I can understand if I'm *begging/whining* for info and you just don't want to say. I mean, I'd get the hint! But to offer information and then not want to say what's up is just..well, it's just mean. For me, it begs the question: do you really want to communicate (call/response) or do you just want to advertise? I understand either way, but if it's advertise, you need to work on the "hard yes/fast no" and leave the "barely maybes" for the home base.

So for you dear Readers: How hard is it really to just tell someone "no"? Do you have problems saying "no"? If so, why?

Noonz

http://blogs.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.ListAll&friendId=159180776&page=1e12
October 26, 2007 - Friday

On Contrasting Cultures

Here is one resident's perspective on Mexico, so close to the United States and so far from God...

The Bierce Account

http://bierceannals.blogspot.com/2009/11/pobre-mexico.html

It´s quite fun to kick back and watch the misunderstandings fly . . . and fly they do.

Nowhere touch two nations, two peoples, two languages, two worlds that are so utterly different.

The Americans do not understand the Mexicans, though they think they do, even Gringos who live among us. Those poor Mexicans are just like us. They only need a helping hand.

Helping hand = charity.

Truth is, explaining Mexicans to Americans is akin to explaining a sea society to a desert-dwelling people who gauge everything by its relationship to saguaro cacti and blistering sunshine.

Neither do Mexicans understand Americans, but they really don´t care that much, being far more introspective. Mexicans focus on themselves and their families. They care about other Mexicans only as a cuddly patriotic concept.

Their attitude toward their American neighbors is a conflictive brew of envy, wonderment and resentment.

Putting aside the current global economic crisis (which is cyclical and will pass), let us ask ourselves why the economy and society function remarkably well north of the U.S.-Mexico border, and just the opposite south of the border.

To twist that old campaign slogan: It´s the culture, stupid.

Yours truly defines culture very broadly as the way a nation, a people, looks at the world. And that world view passes through the prism of their language, which is one issue.

Spanish is a Romance language and, like love itself, it is shadowy and unpredictable. You can hide in Spanish. You can dance, this way and that. You can be quite unclear if that is your desire.

. . . as it often is. Octavio Paz famously wrote: A Mexican´s "face is a mask and so is his smile."

English, like the English-speaking people, is far less prone to masks. English is often directly in your face. It is a tongue with Germanic undertones. It is efficient.

* * * *

We are very different. Contrary to common notions, Mexico is a younger nation than the United States. It´s 1810 versus 1776.

But that measly 34-year difference is deceptive. The United States began as a democracy, and has been one for over 200 years. Mexico, on winning independence, promptly slid into chaos and into the arms of Gen. Santa Anna.

. . . then the mess with Emperor Max . . . and the dictatorship of Díaz . . . the murderous revolution . . . the comparatively benign dictatorship of what became the Revolutionary Institutional Party, lasting until the year 2000. Almost yesterday, amigos.

Mexico is still staggering, bruised and bloody.

What did the past 200 years (yes, we are about to celebrate the bicentennial) do to the Mexican mind and heart?

It made us stunningly cautious and suspicious. We do not trust others, and we certainly do not trust any government. Many, perhaps most, men toted pistols down into the 1950s.

But we smile a lot, and we love to say yes. Doing otherwise, we have painfully learned, can be quite counterproductive.

And potentially lethal. We have learned to act happy.

. . . which totally flummoxes the Gringos, a fun side effect.

* * * *

Mexico is a large country with lots of natural resources, a mother lode of possibilities that we waste due to the distrust and suspicion that has been pounded into us over centuries.

Like the bright, high school student with poor grades, we are not living up to our potential.

The nation above the Rio Bravo totally misreads us, and how not? The Gringos had no Santa Ana, no inept emperor shipped in from Europe, no moustachioed Generalissimo Díaz . . .

. . . no bloody revolution that ended only one long lifespan ago, no slick "political party" of oligarchs stealing elections, sometimes at pistol point, for most of the 20th Century.

So here you have two nations. One has progressed successfully through two centuries of democracy. The other has crept two centuries from one bloody disaster into another. What do these people have in common? Absolutamente nada.

And yet they are neighbors, shoulder to shoulder.

Mexico has changed, especially in this decade, just the final five seconds of the nation´s time-line.

It´s time to grow up, time to don long pants, come out of the house, say hi to our neighbors, learn to see long-term, recognize that what helps the neighborhood helps us too . . .

No one will shoot us although our guts signal otherwise.

. . . time to quit sneaking up north to cut the Gringos´ grass, time to stay here and check out the many opportunities we have within our own borders. And, sí señor, there are many.

Our biggest enemy faces us in the mirror. It is time to take off the mask and be sincere, time to do what we say we´ll do . . .

. . . arrive on time, say no when it´s appropriate, trust others and see that usually we´re not disappointed.

. . . though at times we will be. We´ll get over it.

Mexico: On When Yes Means No

In a February 19, 2009, blog post to Alioqui Negotiis, CM recounts his experience in Michoacan with indirectness in Mexican communication style. I excerpt below:

Alioqui Negotiis - February 19, 2009
When Yes means No

"Mexicans love to say they'll help you, the problem is determining when they actually mean. Often, the process goes something like this:


  1) Person agrees to help.
  2) Person avoids you at all cost.
  3) If you manage to get in touch with said person, they promise to help right away/as soon as possible.
  4) Person repeats steps 2 and 3 until you give up.


"The doctor I was to contact in Michoacan (see last post) managed to be out of the office, in meetings, or otherwise "unavailable" every time I called last week, which was quite a lot, and has not called me since I left my number with the secretary; in other words, he has been remarkably successful in step 2. Frustrating, but at least I know where I stand.


"My adviser, on the other hand, I haven't figured out. When I manage to get in touch with him, he always tries (or at least appears to try) to be quite helpful, making calls for me etc. On the other hand, he's not easy to get in touch with, and his 'contacts', such as the guy in Michoacan, don't necessarily come through. He promised to call the Michoacan doctor for me after I told him my difficulties on Tuesday, but "I'll let you know this afternoon" has turned into 2 days without hearing from him. Am I trapped in step 3 with Dr. Rios, or is Dr. Rios trapped in step 2/3 with his contact in Morelia? Hard to tell. I'd like to think that this is just another example of Mexico being slow, but I think that's a little naive considering how common and ongoing these types of problems are here."

This is a classic example of indirectness in communication style. Reasons for this indirectness of style in Mexico (a style common in many other cultures, as well) are explored and explained in Intercultural Communication: A Practical Guide.

This begs a synopsis on indirectness, at some time... If I can get to writing it, I will post it here.

Links to:
Blog - Alioqui Negotiis
Book - Intercultural Communication: A Practical Guide (focus on Mexico)
Book - Communicating with Brazilians: When "Yes" Means "No"

Review of "Intercultural Communication: A Practical Guide"

Intercultural Communication: A Practical Guide

by Tracy Novinger

In his engaging commentary on this book, Swiss writer Hans Durrer states:

• "[It is] difficult to think of a more compelling way (I was reminded of a thriller) to introduce a tome on intercultural communication and, needless to say, [Tracy Novinger] had my full attention..."

Review of "Intercultural Communication":
...a well-dressed Mexican pulled up in a taxi to the Palacio de Justicia in Lima, Peru. Armed guards were standing on the steps ascending to the building. The passenger paid and thanked the driver and opened the door of the cab, intent on the information he had come to get. As he leaned forward and put one foot on the pavement, a cold rifle muzzle jabbed him in the temple and jerked his attention to matters at hand. The Peruvian guard holding the rifle shot two harsh words at him. The Mexican reddened, emerged from the taxi, and drew himself erect. With a sweep at his arm, he retorted three words: „Qué! Nos conocemos?“ (What! Do we know each other?) With a half bow the guard lowered the rifle and courteously gestured the man up the steps, speaking in deferential tones. What happened here? What did the guard with the gun say that triggered this reaction from the Mexican? And what in the Mexican visitor’s behavior and those three Spanish words instantly changed the Peruvian guard's attitude and demeanor?“

This is how Tracy Novinger begins her „Intercultural Communication: A Practical Guide“ (University of Texas Press, Austin). Difficult to think of a more compelling way (I was reminded of a thriller) to introduce a tome on intercultural communication and, needless to say, she had my full attention:

...he Mexican visitor and the Peruvian guard participated in a communication exchange that was deeply embedded in the hierarchy and formality inherent in Mediterranean-based cultures. With the interrogation, „Qué quieres?“ (What do you want?), the guard had addressed the visitor with the familiar verb form in Spanish. The familiar form of address in most Spanish-speaking countries is used only with family members, close friends, former classmates, or children. The reflexive reaction of the man arriving was indignation, even though the circumstances were dangerous. His retort „Do we know each other?“ was a powerful cultural rebuke. The automatic response of the guard was to amend his discourtesy and reply in the formal style of address for the visitor to please go about his business. Fortunately for the Mexican visitor, this incident turned out well. He would have not responded in such a manner if he had stopped to think about the logic of challenging a gun with indignation and three Spanish words – but the point is that he did not think. Cultural conditioning controlled the behavior of both men, including he who held the gun and the apparent power. Neither men went through a conscious thought process.“

Think! is always good advice, and especially when dealing with members of other cultures. Yet it is hardly enough. „You are American soldiers! Think about it!“ Joseph Heller lets (in „Catch 22“) an officer address his subordinates and then comments: „They thought about it.“

Don’t get me wrong: Tracy Novinger does not argue that going „through a conscious thought process“ is enough in order to deal successfully with members of foreign cultures. I mainly quoted Joseph Heller because I love this quote. What Novinger does argue for is that „we must learn to speak a foreign culture in the same way we must learn to speak a foreign language.“ In other words, we must learn the art of nonverbal communication which is said to make up „two-thirds to three-fourths of our communication.“ And, how does one do that? By spending time with Tracy Novinger’s helpful book, for example.

Tracy Novinger
Intercultural Communication: A Practical Guide
University of Texas Press, Austin
Posted by AcrossCultures at 07:58
at blogspot Across Cultures or at hansdurrer.com.

Herr Durrer is the author of Ways of Perception: On Visual and Intercultural Communication.

Book Review: Communicating with Brazilians

Hans Durrer, a Swiss writer, has recently returned from Brazil and reviews:

Communicating with Brazilians: When "Yes" Means "No"
by Tracy Novinger

at blogspot Across Cultures or at hansdurrer.com.


Review: Communicating with Brazilians


Returning from an extended stay in Brazil, I started to read Tracy Novinger’s Communicating with Brazilians: When „Yes“ means „No“ (University of Texas Press, Austin, 2003) with great interest. Already after the first few pages I decided to like this book. Because of sentences like these:

„Beyond focusing attention on a nation’s characteristics that seem exotic and foreign to outsiders, to communicate successfully across cultures it is sometimes important to just rely on common sense. Small towns in both the United States and Brazil, for example, are more conservative than are large cities, as is generally true throughout the world.“

„Most of us think that we act through our own free will. But think again. For the most part, we do not.“

„Culture is the logic by which we give order to the world … Put simply, culture is the way we do things around here.“

Given that, in 1952, Alfred Kroeber and Clyde Kluckhohn compiled a list of 164 definitions of "culture" (in Culture: A Critical Review of Concepts and Definitions) this is a refreshingly succinct and useful statement.

Now let’s have a look at the Brazilians who Darcy Ribeiro characterises as „better than others because bathed in black and Indian blood, a people whose role from here on will be less a matter of absorbing European things than of teaching the world how to live with more joy and more happiness.“ I think Darcy Ribeiro is right, I do indeed believe that Brazilians live with more joy and happiness than others. All others? No idea, really, but definitely with more joy and happiness than the Swiss. Needless to say I can already hear some protests so let me hasten to add: save for one or two exceptions.

I do not intend to point out how the book has to be seen in context of all the other books written about Brazil. Anyway, how could I? I only know Stefan Zweig’s Brasil. Um país do futuro and Peter Kellemen’s Brasil para principiantes and both of them are not mentioned in the bibliography (I highly recommend them). What I want to do here is to highlight some of the things I liked about this tome.

First and foremost: the abundance of telling anecdotes. Contrary to academics in the communication field who routinely dismiss them („of anecdotal value at best“), I love and treasure them for they teach me the essentials.

„A young woman who is an engineer hired by Schlumberger to work on oil platforms said that when she goes home to São Paulo, she and her sister no longer go out at night without their parents because the city has become so dangerous. One evening the two women went to a movie and were followed when they drove home. They called their house by cell phone. Their parents immediately turned on all of the outside lights, they and their gardener stationed themselves visibly to observe the arrival of the two sisters, and they ensured that the two young women had immediate access to the enclosed garage area.“

I heard numerous such stories when travelling for some months in the Northeast in 2006 and I heard again numerous such stories when teaching English in Santa Cruz do Sul in 2008. In other words: „Personal safety is an issue of primary public concern in Brazil.“

In the chapter „Racial Fusion“ the following story, under the headline „Only in Brazil“, can be found:

„Recently, three years after the fact, it was discovered by chance that two babies had been switched at birth in the hospital. Each family loved the happy little boy it was raising. Despite daily news coverage and avid public interest in custody considerations, no reports remarked on the fact that one of the boys was black and was accepted at birth by white parents and that the other boy was white and was raised without question by dark-skinned parents.“

So, there is no racism in Brazil? „Of course there is“, says Ricardo (of Schütz & Kanomata Idiomas in Santa Cruz do Sul), „and it is a problem but we’re not as neurotic about it as the Americans.“ Indeed.

And then there’s the jeito:

„The most significant, pervasive, and typical national filter through which the Brazilians see the world is that of jeito or jeitinho – the concept of finding a way … For Brazilians, there is always a way, some way, any way, to accomplish what one needs or wants to accomplish.“

I especially warmed to this wonderful definition here:

„Jeito is a product of an intelligent, inventive, free, and creative attitude that one should take the initiative of acting in opposition to rules.“

But isn’t that ethically problematic? Of course it is, sometimes, but what isn’t?

So much for now. I will soon come back to this inspiring work.

Tracy Novinger
Communicating with Brazilians
When „Yes“ means „No“
University of Texas Press, Austin, 2003

Posted by AcrossCultures at 00:02