Mexico: On When Yes Means No

In a February 19, 2009, blog post to Alioqui Negotiis, CM recounts his experience in Michoacan with indirectness in Mexican communication style. I excerpt below:

Alioqui Negotiis - February 19, 2009
When Yes means No

"Mexicans love to say they'll help you, the problem is determining when they actually mean. Often, the process goes something like this:


  1) Person agrees to help.
  2) Person avoids you at all cost.
  3) If you manage to get in touch with said person, they promise to help right away/as soon as possible.
  4) Person repeats steps 2 and 3 until you give up.


"The doctor I was to contact in Michoacan (see last post) managed to be out of the office, in meetings, or otherwise "unavailable" every time I called last week, which was quite a lot, and has not called me since I left my number with the secretary; in other words, he has been remarkably successful in step 2. Frustrating, but at least I know where I stand.


"My adviser, on the other hand, I haven't figured out. When I manage to get in touch with him, he always tries (or at least appears to try) to be quite helpful, making calls for me etc. On the other hand, he's not easy to get in touch with, and his 'contacts', such as the guy in Michoacan, don't necessarily come through. He promised to call the Michoacan doctor for me after I told him my difficulties on Tuesday, but "I'll let you know this afternoon" has turned into 2 days without hearing from him. Am I trapped in step 3 with Dr. Rios, or is Dr. Rios trapped in step 2/3 with his contact in Morelia? Hard to tell. I'd like to think that this is just another example of Mexico being slow, but I think that's a little naive considering how common and ongoing these types of problems are here."

This is a classic example of indirectness in communication style. Reasons for this indirectness of style in Mexico (a style common in many other cultures, as well) are explored and explained in Intercultural Communication: A Practical Guide.

This begs a synopsis on indirectness, at some time... If I can get to writing it, I will post it here.

Links to:
Blog - Alioqui Negotiis
Book - Intercultural Communication: A Practical Guide (focus on Mexico)
Book - Communicating with Brazilians: When "Yes" Means "No"

Review of "Intercultural Communication: A Practical Guide"

Intercultural Communication: A Practical Guide

by Tracy Novinger

In his engaging commentary on this book, Swiss writer Hans Durrer states:

• "[It is] difficult to think of a more compelling way (I was reminded of a thriller) to introduce a tome on intercultural communication and, needless to say, [Tracy Novinger] had my full attention..."

Review of "Intercultural Communication":
...a well-dressed Mexican pulled up in a taxi to the Palacio de Justicia in Lima, Peru. Armed guards were standing on the steps ascending to the building. The passenger paid and thanked the driver and opened the door of the cab, intent on the information he had come to get. As he leaned forward and put one foot on the pavement, a cold rifle muzzle jabbed him in the temple and jerked his attention to matters at hand. The Peruvian guard holding the rifle shot two harsh words at him. The Mexican reddened, emerged from the taxi, and drew himself erect. With a sweep at his arm, he retorted three words: „Qué! Nos conocemos?“ (What! Do we know each other?) With a half bow the guard lowered the rifle and courteously gestured the man up the steps, speaking in deferential tones. What happened here? What did the guard with the gun say that triggered this reaction from the Mexican? And what in the Mexican visitor’s behavior and those three Spanish words instantly changed the Peruvian guard's attitude and demeanor?“

This is how Tracy Novinger begins her „Intercultural Communication: A Practical Guide“ (University of Texas Press, Austin). Difficult to think of a more compelling way (I was reminded of a thriller) to introduce a tome on intercultural communication and, needless to say, she had my full attention:

...he Mexican visitor and the Peruvian guard participated in a communication exchange that was deeply embedded in the hierarchy and formality inherent in Mediterranean-based cultures. With the interrogation, „Qué quieres?“ (What do you want?), the guard had addressed the visitor with the familiar verb form in Spanish. The familiar form of address in most Spanish-speaking countries is used only with family members, close friends, former classmates, or children. The reflexive reaction of the man arriving was indignation, even though the circumstances were dangerous. His retort „Do we know each other?“ was a powerful cultural rebuke. The automatic response of the guard was to amend his discourtesy and reply in the formal style of address for the visitor to please go about his business. Fortunately for the Mexican visitor, this incident turned out well. He would have not responded in such a manner if he had stopped to think about the logic of challenging a gun with indignation and three Spanish words – but the point is that he did not think. Cultural conditioning controlled the behavior of both men, including he who held the gun and the apparent power. Neither men went through a conscious thought process.“

Think! is always good advice, and especially when dealing with members of other cultures. Yet it is hardly enough. „You are American soldiers! Think about it!“ Joseph Heller lets (in „Catch 22“) an officer address his subordinates and then comments: „They thought about it.“

Don’t get me wrong: Tracy Novinger does not argue that going „through a conscious thought process“ is enough in order to deal successfully with members of foreign cultures. I mainly quoted Joseph Heller because I love this quote. What Novinger does argue for is that „we must learn to speak a foreign culture in the same way we must learn to speak a foreign language.“ In other words, we must learn the art of nonverbal communication which is said to make up „two-thirds to three-fourths of our communication.“ And, how does one do that? By spending time with Tracy Novinger’s helpful book, for example.

Tracy Novinger
Intercultural Communication: A Practical Guide
University of Texas Press, Austin
Posted by AcrossCultures at 07:58
at blogspot Across Cultures or at hansdurrer.com.

Herr Durrer is the author of Ways of Perception: On Visual and Intercultural Communication.